Incident of November 13, 2010. [Part I] 十一月十三日，二零一零年事件簿 [Part I]

Incident of 13 November, 2010. [PART I]
Dear god, I am losing my faith to the lord.
Why? Because I received to what I don't expected.

The one I expected has gone over me, far far away.

Is this fairness? Or greediness?
No one to blame, but myself.

I'm facing it now, but why it has to be happened on me?
I don't deserved the person I wanted the most because I greed for more?
All those answers from my questions, can't be told by others, but myself.
Have faith, believing, imagination, fantasy in my mind.

But it's all nothing, the fact is cruel.

Year ago, I want to be with this "you" so much.
In the end, I tare up so much and now "you" are gone.
Recent, I found another "you" are just playing on me.
Having so much faith on believing and spent time waiting, it's gone again.

Than, I cared these people. But these people don't care about me.

And yet, a very closed long lost virtual brother. Taught me about the lord, thee, Jesus.

Unable to connect with my brother, felt like torturing.
Me? For creating such unrealistic facts for myself to feel better?

No, because I believe!

Dear lord, seeing myself losing faith on thee.
I can't let these go so easily, not so wise.

Have to give up these pieces of me?
No! I must carry on! If the lord wants me to give it up, which means you are wrong!
BECAUSE I BELIEVE!

事件簿： 十一月十三日，二零一零年 【PART I】

上帝，我已经对你开始失去信念。

为何？ 因为我所得到的都是我不想要的。

我想要的已经不在了，很遥远了。

这个是公平？ 还是贪心？

无法怪其他人，除了我自己。

我正在面对它，但是为什么会发生在我身上？

我无法应得我想要的人是因为我奢求太多？

这些疑问，无法从其他人身上获得答案，但只有我。

脑中曾经信念的，相信的，欲想的，梦幻的.

都已经是空虚了， 现实是很残酷的。

去年， 我多么想和“你”在一起。

最后，已经崩溃了然后“你”已经消失。

刚刚，察觉到另外的“你”正在玩我的感情。

信念上那么信任以“你”以及花了许多时间， 又消失了。

最后，我关心这些人。可是这些人根本不关心我。

还有，我的“哥哥”。 教我关于上帝，你，Jesus。

现在无法和他团聚，感觉似动刑的煎熬。

我？ 创造虚拟的事实让自己觉得美好？

不，这是因为我相信！

上帝， 看见自己对上帝失去信念。

我无法让这一切那么简单的放下，我不是那么宽容。

我需要放弃这“自己”？

不！我必须坚持下去！ 如果上帝需要我放下这些， 就是指你已经错了！

因为我相信！